How can I sum up an entire school-year of mentoring? Where do I begin? I guess I will start by explaining how I got involved.
I was interested in mentoring in high school but I didn’t become a mentor until my first semester of college. I joined an organization at Florida State University called L.A.D.I.E.S that participates in mentoring as a part of community service. Before I could begin mentoring at our assigned high school, I had to attend a mandatory mentor training. After I attended the 45-minute training and read through the Mentor Manual, I felt prepared.
I won’t spend a lot time recounting this part of my experience considering it is not the most important. I will skip to the details, the parts you guys want to hear.
I know most people are familiar with the benefits of mentoring because that is what most people talk about when they are explaining mentoring. They say, “Its rewarding.” They also say “it benefits the mentor and the mentee.” However, they fail to say how these benefits come about. They leave outsiders thinking that you just talk and magically you cause the mentee to improve. Honestly, I was one those people. I believed my mentoring sessions would be smooth. My mentee would tell me the situations she was experiencing, especially the scary personal ones, and I would talk her through them. Then maybe she would love me for this.
The truth is that’s not exactly what happens. Don’t get me wrong, I have helped my mentee through some situations, but this didn’t happen every session and this didn’t happen overnight. From day one, my mentee was somewhat open. She told me fun facts about herself and her family. She elaborated about school and some of her hobbies. However, the connection between us did not happen instantly. Some of the conversations seemed to be really surface level, too surface level. I found myself wondering, “Maybe I’m not asking the right questions” and “Maybe I’m not good at this.”
Indeed, they have millions of questions online that you can refer to for mentoring, but better questions were not what I needed.
The key to successful mentoring isn’t good questions, its time, its patience. It took several sessions for my mentee to get comfortable with me and for me to get comfortable with her. I had to be dedicated to learning the small details about her and her life not just the personal ones. The bond that I longed for us to have had to come in its own time.
So, yes I agree that mentoring is very beneficial. I encourage those of you interested, to do it! I can name several advantages of mentoring that both the mentor and mentee receive.
But, I would like to stress that these benefits require dedication and some determination. Sometimes you won’t know what to ask or what to say. Additionally, at first your mentee might not want to open up to you, but don’t be discouraged, in due time it will come.
I mean, don’t they say every good thing takes time?
